Sleep = Zero

Sleep has been evading me lately and I'm not sure how to find it. It's tough to turn your brain off even though you've been awake longer than is healthy, but alas, I can not find that glorious switch.

I had my interview with the school yesterday. It looks like I won't have an answer for possibly six weeks... hmmm. Let's see, that means when we are moved out of our house in 3 weeks I will have sold everything we own, assuming I am accepted, and be living in my parents basement, wondering. That sounds foolish, where's my "Tweedle Dum" hat?

I would love to say that I am 100% positive that this is the right direction to go and that I "heard" from God, but I can't. Realistically, I am trudging forward with heavy boots through dark and unknown caverns, bending my ear and will to pick up any faint noise I can that would give me a hint and hope I am travelling towards the right end. There is a chance I may be part masochist. Unfortunate for my family.

The moving sale is this Friday and Saturday. My life for pennies on the dollar. There's Ethan Allen, Stickley, Bassett, and a slew of randomness that has taken 10 years to compile. Most of it we (as in my beautiful wife and I) care less about, but there are one or two items that pull at the heart strings. It's strange that a person can have a sentimentel attachment to an inanimate object, yet I do... mostly my house... which is 22 days and counting... geeez, it hurts to even type it.

But it is not all that bad. I don't know if my family can find the depth of healing we need here in cozy Lima, and that is one consolation for my battered mind. I truely believe California will draw us together in ways I can only picture in my mind... like the smiling retro family perfectly placed around the gleaming red picnic table without a care in the world. That may be a touch euphoric, but you get the idea. Plus, there's the amazing drive across this gorgeous country! It is one my wife and kids have never made. The raw beauty and geographical diversity inevitably bolsters my faith in God. It helps me to realize that there is no way possible that this is all an accident... there is a divine Creator, which then drives me to ask, "why am I here?", a great question. And, Finally, I am hoping it will break me out of the doldrums in which I reside. An awakening I guess.

To the road less travelled I raise my cup! What mysteries and wonder await!
Right?